Ervin Family Blog

"Church is not a museum for the good people.. but a hospital for the broken"

2012-01-15T05:50:00.000-08:00

After this video was posted about 12 times on Facebook I finally watched it. I did like his views and agree'd with most of what he is sharing. I felt his heart in this is precious and really desiring to know Jesus. I have watched a few more of his videos, specifically one where he shares his testimony and in it.. you really see him sharing his heart of wanting to walk with Jesus.. not what man has made him to be. I have heard some concerning comments regarding Jefferson's, the man speaking in the video, comment "Jesus came to abolish religion" In Matthew 5:17-19 Jesus says, "Do not misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose." My personal understanding of this is Jesus is against perverted religion. Unjustified religion. He is for pure religion. There are laws in which he set into place if you are a believer in Christ... reassuring me that He is for pure religion. James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

Another statement about divorced single moms, religion starting wars... I felt these were true in a sense.. Perversion of religion has started wars, among many other differences in our world, war has been started. Divorced moms.. me. :) I never felt condemned in the church. I felt safe and looked after, supported. Feeding the hungry, helping families pay their bills, walking along to bring restoration to marriages and families, building up our young ones hearts in regards to pure religion, looking after widows.. I see this happening in the church. My point for going here regarding this video is I have read so many responses that I felt concerned and a bit of fear that this could make people stay away from church.. disregard its importance. Because this bothers me so.. Here I am. Blogging. : /

As I was listening to Jeffersons heart in his sharing I felt .. no, I questioned if I could be hearing some of his words out of context because his poem does not have room for a full on sermon. Could he possibly be speaking about man made religion.. what is now happening in our culture."My Jesus is this.. and not this" kind of making your own personal Jesus... I thought this could be the man made religion he is speaking to.. just not clarifying it in this video.. so of course I searched. I found this quote (well a few quotes put together) from Jefferson, from the following link: (you will have to copy and paste it in your browser bar.. it would not let me upload the direct URL link)

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/under-god/post/why-i-hate-religion-but-love-jesus-goes-viral/2012/01/18/gIQARzXp8P_blog.html

“You have to get back to my definition of religion,” Bethke says. “[Jesus] was coming to abolish self righteousness, justification and hypocrisy.”

“To me,” he said, “the church and the body of Jesus has an immense weight and immense job in carrying his mission. I think the church is a place to come to for forgiveness, as I alluded to [in the video] ... I think it’s a place where there is forgiveness of sin, there’s grace, there’s mercy. “Essentially, whatever you find in Jesus you should be able to find in his body, a.k.a. the church. To me, that’s immensely positive. I’m a 100 percent believer in the church.”

"I am 100 percent believer in the church." There. Is he speaking against all religion or certain forms? I believe certain forms. Is he saying the church is not doing its job?.. maybe some but not all. So this is my personal clarifying thoughts regarding this video... If you are in a church where your only experience of Christianity if simply because you are republican.. that is a problem. If you are in a church that says Jesus is against religion.. that is also a problem. Jesus makes himself known through His word. If you are confused regarding something... go to His word. What does He say?

Hark The Herald Angels Sing...

2012-01-09T10:03:00.000-08:00

This year we took the kidlets Christmas caroling. Abram loved the singing, of course! Kyleana loved the play that took place afterwards. Marcus was so intrigued with the fact that he had fire in his hands that he may not have even recognized there were other people around, rather on singing taking place! All in all.. they loved it! So did we. There is something super sweet about standing among strangers... singing and loving the same thing! I think my favorite part was what this stood as for me, in my heart. Dave and I knew probably about ten people out of about the 200+ there. Yet, we all stood together singing and lifting up the same name! It was so sweet to my heart! To stand with strangers .... and to sing from your heart so freely.. I was so grateful for this evening. :) Pictures below.

Daddy & Abram

Marcus was so fixated on the flame in his hand! :)

Mother & Daughter Outing

2011-11-18T07:29:00.000-08:00

Kyleana and I recently went away for a mother/daughter weekend. It was such a nice weekend together. We loaded up on snacks.. planned to stay up really late and most importantly talk about some important issues she as a growing girl would be encountering. Dave and I wanted to really make clear the focus Christ has over her and the focus our culture/other influences has over her. After a bit of research, prayer and listening to many other mothers we built our entire weekend around the Passport2Purity material. There were lots of visual concepts and lots of note taking! Also.. lots of questions and quite a bit of blushing! :) I will share a few snap shots with you from our weekend!

Upon Arrival!

Kyleana loved the indoor/outdoor pool! To a child this was like... Amazing!

Can you tell who is who? :)


Kyleana.. with a mouth full of snacks!

Us!

I am really hoping to do this at least once a year! :) Maybe I can make a scrapbook *cough cough* (maybe) of our weekends out and give them to her when she is older. Mothering... its sweet!

Pregnancy Updates! :)

2011-11-08T06:33:00.000-08:00

We are currently 25 weeks pregnant!! Marcus was a sweet brother last night and said a prayer over the baby. He placed his little fingers over my belly and asked Jesus to keep the baby safe and that the babe would come out soon. Also he said he was really happy about the baby and that he loved it lots! His little prayer was so sweet! Kyleana has been wondering how long before she and the baby can share a room, although I am certain after 2 months she will happily give up this want. :) Abram still thinks he is the baby and refuses to go on the potty! : / Not fun! Still trying! I am sure before Kindergarden we will accomplish potty training! :) Overall... this mothers heart feels full! I am enjoying the first flutters that have now grown into full kicks and turns!

Kyleana is doing really well in school! We start a new devotional journal this week - we are both excited about that.

Marcus is enjoying school.. although he wishes recess were about 6 hours longer!

Abram..... is clinging to the baby role for as long as he can! :)

Lastly, pregnancy photos... for those who love pregnancy bellies (like me!)

12 weeks

20 weeks

25 weeks

Quick, Easy & TASTY salad dressings :)

2011-07-21T17:16:00.000-07:00

White Wine Vinaigrette
2 Tbsp white wine vinegar
1 Tbsp fresh parsley
1 Tbsp minced shallot
1/3 c extra virgin olive oil
Mix together and season with coarse salt and fresh ground pepper

Red Wine Vinaigrette
2 Tbsp red wine vinegar
1 tspn dijon mustard
1 small minced garlic clove
1/3 c extra virgin olive oil
Mix together and season with course salt and fresh ground pepper

Cider Vinaigrette
1 Tbsp grainy mustard
1 Tbsp sugar
2 Tbsp cider vinegar
1/4 c extra virgin olive oil
Mix together and season with coarse salt and fresh ground pepper

Honey Balsamic Vinaigrette
2 Tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 Tbsp honey
1 tspn dijon mustard
1/4 cup c extra virgin olive oil
Mix together and season with coarse salt and fresh ground pepper

2011-05-10T12:47:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile since I have updated regarding Abram and his journey with Apraxia.. Many of you have asked how he is doing so I thought I would update you via blog! :) (thank you for asking.. thank you for your heart over Abram)
Abram now has over 50 words and we do see growth. He has been saying three words sentences.. "Love you Daddy!" "Night Night Mommy!" and he has found some pronouns!!! (this is huge) "I" and "mine!" We were very excited to hear these words coming from his beautiful mouth!! Along with his improvement we have noticed as he finds more words and makes connections with them he has also lost a few. Most of them being animal names. He used to point out kitty, dog, bird... but now everything is cow. :) "hi cow!" We expected this ..... : ) We are more focusing on the growth we have seen and just continue to work on the renaming of animals. He meets with his speech therapist for the LAST time Wednesday!! We are very sad to see Miss June go!! Abram loves June so much... he claps and screams with excitement every time she shows up on our steps!! "yay!!!! Hi there!!" he shouts! We are in the process of finding another speech therapist. (June specializes with children up to 3) I hope to find someone as involved as June! We are so ..... we were just super blessed by June.
I am grateful for Abram and our journey with him because it has really opened my eyes pertaining to my expectations in parenting. I used to really expect the children to "get" things whenever other children in the age frame were getting things... like riding a bike, tying shoes, and so on.. In walking this with Abram and home schooling Marcus I am now more aware at how true it is that each child learns at their own pace.. not to get discouraged when Marcus does not seem to grasp something (or allowing discouragement to settle in when Abram is yelling cow at the top of his lungs to the birds flying over head) I have learned to lower my expectations over the children and see genuine growth in their own pace.. luckily Marcus is in a environment where he can go at his own pace (home schooling has a wider gap for this) Plus... when he gets it .. he gets it! Abram may need speech therapy for a long time.. and that is okay.. we have lots of time!

A quick update on Marcus' home schooling.. He is doing SOOOO sooo good! He is reading at a second grade level and his math is right where he needs to be for next year! He is fully prepped for second grade! He has worked so hard and we are so proud of him! And Kyleana... well Kyleana is my fourth grader who reads like a sixth grader and talks like a teenager.. "WHAT..ever!" :) I am mostly kidding!
I will end as always.. with pictures :)

Marcus :)

Abram (pointing to himself)

Kyleana (who thinks she is Abrams other mother)

Karate to a 6 year old...

2011-03-08T16:20:00.000-08:00

Marcus at Karate

Warm ups

Marcus with his partner... SO FUNNY watching him with a girl! ... He was not comfortable doing any of the moves with her!

She was like "come on!" to which he replied... "hahaha!! This is funny!"

Per Marcus" I am really trying!"

Please notice all his "this is awkward "faces...

This picture cracks me up!

CERTIFICATE in hand! Marcus with his pals Gabrielle and Stone

Its a New Year!!!

2011-02-13T04:50:00.000-08:00

Yes, it would be just like me to bring up the New Year in February! What a great year of molding! The Lord has so deeply shaped me in this past year... I love how he is growing Dave and I together through all the hardship and adventure we have walked through these past couple years! He has been utterly faithful.... reminding me He is always faithful- we're the unfaithful ones! I am so grateful for His hands upon our home, our character, our hearts, our children, our friendships, family and our marriage. I went into 2010 wounded in area's that I knew would heal but also knew it would take the surrendering of my heart for that to happen. I went into it hesitant but expectant. I went into a little naive of the subliminal messages that happen within family, friends.. pretty much in life. I feel like the Lord has really opened up my heart to receive or just recognize/being aware of these messages but not to let the hurtful subliminal messages really impact my depths but then to really allow other subliminal messages to really sink deep! To see rejection, dishonesty, love, togetherness, faithfulness, hurt... to see it as it is. To be honest enough with the Lord and Dave to really lay every emotion bare..... I feel so protected and guided by both the Lord and Dave in doing this. It has brought much needed healing!! I felt the Lord tell me in 2010 that He was going to pour into my heart genuine love over specific relationships.... and as He did this I could literally FEEL it... I could feel my heart just softening! Close to the feeling of when your heart has been deeply touched or blessed by an overwhelming act of love or kindness... and He would remind me of His words over me... "I am going to fill you with genuine love!" He was Faithful! I was allowed to lay down my brokenness for His goodness ... and he pushed my walk with Him forward.
I went into 2010 hesitant of the choices I was making as a mother... I was making them because it "felt" right. Coming out of 2010 I am aware when those feelings were the Lords prompting! :) Thank you Lord!
I went into 2010 a little hesitant but wanting more... and walking out so blessed.. but still wanting more!:)

At the start of this year I feel (not hear.. I feel) the Lord saying more change is coming, to be expectant. I feel like this change will look and feel differently.... I am unsure about some of it and some of it I am just waiting for Him to fully confirm. I have a deep sense of peace that He is with us. Always has, always will be... and this IS enough.

So to you 2010... I say cheers to you! 2011... :) your plans are already made for you my friend!

And to YOU... yes to you my 8 blog followers... I say cheers to you! :)

(fyi.... if my blog ever exceeds 10 followers ... I might stop being so dear diary on here!) AND in case you could care less about this entry I leave you with pictures of Marcus and Abrams wrestling match!

Apraxia

2011-02-01T04:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Abram was diagnosed with Apraxia of the speech. Childhood Apraxia of the speech is when children have problems saying sounds, syllables, and words. The brain has problems planning to move the body parts ( lips, jaw, tongue) needed for speech. The child knows what he or she wants to say, but his/her brain has difficulty coordinating the muscle movements necessary to say those words. It is also believed there may be a connection between apraxia and dyslexia. 75% of children who have been diagnosed with Apraxia later find their also dyslexic. What does this mean for Abram? He wil have to remain in speech therapy for awhile longer. Our Speech Pathologist has said it could be anywhere from 3-12 yrs. He has been in therapy for a little under 6 months. During this time we have seen great improvement! He has been saying full on sentences to us. "Daddy pull open!" "Mommy more please!"

With the Apraxia diagnosis I feel .... a little encouraged to know what he may be dealing with so we can better help him. I look at him and I know he was perfectly made. I trust the Lords hand upon him and I know He did knit him together perfectly and uniquely just the way He wanted him to be. We are really grateful for Abram and the life he brings to us. I do sense he gets a bit frustrated for lack of words .... which is where his signing has been so helpful! He will say to us "apple" but make the cheese sign. This is where he struggles to find his words and his signing is stepping in for him. We're so grateful for his signing. We will be teaching him more signs just so he can fall back on these when he is struggling to find words. Our sitter is going to love this! :) "Amber he is signing to me something and I have no clue what??" "what is he doing?" "He is putting his finger in his ear and jabbering" "Yea.... he has just got an itch!" :)

My prayer over Abram has been the same prayer I have had for Kyleana and Marcus. I know these children belong to the Lord. They are only temporarily mine. I want to raise them to know, love and serve the Lord with all of their heart, soul and mind. I want them to grasp the truth of who He is, what He stands for and what His purpose is for their lives. When I hear apraxia, I hear this mothers prayer in the back of my mind... and apraxia seems so tiny. So little. His molding stands out more. :)

Children Of God

2011-01-12T05:22:00.000-08:00

I am going to be uncomfortably honest here.... it is about the Jews. I have throughout my walk with the Lord always dealt with a bit of jealousy toward the Jews. I have seen them strictly as the Lords chosen people. I have had this deep stirring in my heart saying Lord... I want to be your chosen people! I want you to love me as part of your chosen people. I have felt His hand of peace here but again this struggle would come. Silly?

This morning I was reading in Galatians 3. 16-29 specifically struck me.

The promises were spoken to Abraham and to his seed. Scripture does not say “and to seeds,” meaning many people, but “and to your seed,”meaning one person, who is Christ. What I mean is this: The law, introduced 430 years later, does not set aside the covenant previously established by God and thus do away with the promise. For if the inheritance depends on the law, then it no longer depends on the promise; but God in his grace gave it to Abraham through a promise. Why, then, was the law given at all? It was added because of transgressions until the Seed to whom the promise referred had come. The law was given through angels and entrusted to a mediator. A mediator, however, implies more than one party; but God is one. Is the law, therefore, opposed to the promises of God? Absolutely not! For if a law had been given that could impart life, then righteousness would certainly have come by the law. But Scripture has locked up everything under the control of sin, so that what was promised, being given through faith in Jesus Christ, might be given to those who believe.

Children of God

²³ Before the coming of this faith,we were held in custody under the law, locked up until the faith that was to come would be revealed. So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith. Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian. So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.

If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise. I kept reading this verse over and over again... just taking it in. My mind is going back to this time frame. I kept picturing Peter being sent out to preach the message of Jesus Christ to the Jews and Paul going to preach the message of Christ to the Gentiles. I always just felt like a gentile ... for me this phrase felt ... inadequate in comparison with Jews.. the Lords chosen people. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise. There is neither Jew nor Gentile.... If you belong to Christ, then you are Abrahams seed, and heirs according to the promise. Letting this sink deeper today... Thank you Lord for your promises... you always stand true.

Watch out for the dirt...

2011-01-11T07:27:00.000-08:00

I was sweeping my kitchen floor this morning as the boys ran through I called out "watch out for the dirt!" I heard the Lord reply back to me softly but firmly "YES watch out for the dirt... " I found myself pondering this... watch out for the dirt... watch out for the dirt... I am asking Him Lord what dirt have I not been aware of? He is showing me this..has been showing me this and will continue to show me this. He is faithful!

As I become aware of the dirt I have or am currently stepping in I know He is making this known to me so His cleaning can take place. I am reminded of 1 Peter 5:6-10

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

I, we, will never live a day that we are not in need of His grace. Thank you Jesus for your grace. Thank you for your truth.

Thanksgiving

2010-12-13T05:52:00.000-08:00

We grabbed our camera on Thanksgiving ... fully intending on snapping some good quality family photos... unfortunately we never snapped any past the car ride! :) Here is our Thanksgiving morning..

Grabbing hats and heading out.. Abram grabbed daddy's

Loaded

Abram smile....

Or.... just look the other way

Kyleana was excited there was snow


As was Marcus...!

AND there you have it.... Our Thanksgiving, in photos that is! :)

30 Randoms... and a confession.

2010-12-02T20:36:00.000-08:00

1. I love Jesus. I desire and pray I will love Him more everyday.... never settling.. only growing deeper in this love.
2. I love David. I am so incredibly blessed by this man. Sometimes when we lay on the couch for our "face to face time" (what we call our conversation time) it still feels like the first time (when we were dating) but only better... because now there is security in our time together!
3. Kyleana is the most beautiful little thing I have ever seen... inside and out, she is just lovely. Eager to help and honest. I appreciate her.
4. Marcus is a handful! :) I am afraid to ask him for hugs every morning, afternoon, evening and night because I know each time I am going to get knocked over... that is just how he rolls. BUT I always ask.. because I know he sincerely loves giving them and I sincerely love receiving them!
5. Abram has the sweetest hair... and he always smells of coconuts... I am not sure how or why.. but he does. He is just that sweet!
6. I am organized because I find it helpful.
7. I love fireflys! My fav. time is when it is pitch black and you see them sparkling across a entire field.. this gives me a tiny glimpse to something deeper..
8. I always look in on the children at least twice after they are asleep.. not out of fear.. just to look.
9. I like all my labels to be facing out in the fridge. It just looks cleaner and makes sense to me. BUT we seem to always have a full fridge and it makes cooking easier. (yes I am justifying)
10. I like to encourage people. I feel we live in a world the tares others down and I am always looking for truths to build someone up.
11. I am not a people pleaser.
12. I love people.
13. Everyone has a story and I love when it is shared.
14. I like to talk.
15. I like to listen.
16. I had a speech impediment until I was 24. It only comes now when I am stressed or really tired.
17. I have had peanut butter, bananas and toast for breakfast for well over two years now.. everyday :) Except on weekends.... I eat whatever Dave has.
18. I like pastels. Soft blues, purples, pinks, yellows... they're pretty.
19. I like squirrels. Their fun, joyful, playful and organized!
20. I squirrel watch while Dave bird watches.
21. I am not afraid to age... I am always shocked by the women who are afraid to age..
22. Older women tell me this will change once I really start aging.... :/ most of them are gorgeous 50+ year olds looking back at me... this scenerio is funny to me.
23. I believe in the power of the Holy Spirit.
24. I am excited for each oncoming year!
25. I am athletic.... for the fun of it...not because I am good.
26. I don't take winning seriously and have never enjoyed playing with people who are overly serious about winning.
27. I feel like I am constantly growing..... each year I notice DRAMATIC change in my heart and thought life... for the better.
28. This reassures me the Lord is with me. He is faithful.. constantly molding.
29. I am so grateful for number 28!!!! Thank you Jesus!
30. I dropped out of high school my sophomore year and home schooled myself from 9-12. I graduated within 1.5 years with a GPA of 3.8. This was at the time, such a success story for me! ( actually it still is! )

Random Confession

I had a weird obsession with even numbers until I was 18. I would have to do everything in even's. I know.. weird. I never told anyone until I broke it at the age of 18... but this got me into a lot of trouble when I was a child. It was only with things that clicked. Ex: Shutting doors.. done it twice. Laying out plates, cups, silverware.. tapped them twice once they hit the table. Any clicking/connection sound. If I dropped something I would tap twice on it or where it fell.. whichever felt right at the time. Light switches were tricky...when told to turn on a light switch, if there was not another in the room to hit afterwards to make it stay on in a even form then I could not do it. Teachers, aunts, uncles, parents.. pretty much authority over me thought I was being naughty.. but I wasn't.... I simply could not do it.. to do any odd number felt like nails on a chalk board. Breaking this consisted of purposely doing things in a odd number way and then sitting in a ball until the tension went away. It was intense! I am not sure when I was free from it. I do remember once I stopped ... I stopped. If I made a even habit choice I immediately counteracted it with a odd number. It just dawned on me one day.. "oh yea.. I have not been doing things in even numbers." That was that and now you know! :)

PaRtY for mAnY!

2010-12-02T12:16:00.000-08:00

Kyleana upon arrival.


so surprised! and excited!

For Kyleanas 10th birthday we surprised her with a surprise party. As its name would suggest.. she was very much surprised! We had made plans to go pick up the Dieck girls from their summer cottage. I told her she could run ahead inside while I grabbed her brother. She literally screamed when all the girls yelled surprise! :) She had so much fun! She has voted her ten year celebration her best yet!

opening her gifts :)

cutting her ice cream cake... this thing was so messy.. but so good and easy to make ahead!

a towering idea they had.... it was great.. until they fell...

I'm okay! I'm up!

Twister.. but it should be named SORRY! because you say sorry a lot for kneeing the person next to you...

This one was taken around 2:00 am :)

Can I have some "manna" please??

2010-11-14T04:23:00.000-08:00

Kyleana is growing up so quickly. So big. Last night we got into "another little tiff." I asked her after words .... Kyleana do you feel we argue a lot. "kind of" was her reply. I felt like the Lord just wanted me to hold her and pour into her. I climbed in bed with her, cuddled her, and told her stories of when she was young. How sweet and helpful she has always been beginning at such a young age. She soaked it all up. Dave later woke me up in her bed.

Talking up close to Kyleana last night I realized how much she takes after me. Looks, personality, feelings.... such a close replica! I had a flash back of when she was a little girl. I remember her saying to me on a couple occasions, "Mom when I grow up I want to look just like you!" Really? Why? "because your so beautiful!" How sweet is that! No striving with our children... they already see us beyond what we really are. I remember seeing her first freckle on her nose and pointing it out to everyone..... "Look at her freckle...!!!! ahh!! Isn't it amazing!!" Mostly I remembered all those little things she did as a little girl, holding my hand as we walked, helping me in daily task just to be with me, playing with my hair just so she could look closely at my face, playing with my fingers..... then the Lord reminded me of how she still does all this! She is still my little girl. She still holds my hand when we walk, helps me around the house just to spend time with me, plays with my hair and fingers.... my perspective has just changed. How easily I just enjoyed the here and now has changed.... so what changed me?? Fear...... fear set in as she grew... and other parents started warning me of the "wait until's!" So I have been waiting... and preparing myself...

I am surprised at how often I find myself failing to continuously focus on her heart. I am worried about her future heart.. where this could lead.. not her current heart. I feel like we make parenting more difficult then it really is. We, well I, I can be so future focused about Kyleana's character that I forget, fail... to live in the right now. The Lord has been teaching me across the board to just live in the here and now. He has us here... and he has our future. He will guide us as we guide our children. As He is teaching me what to have fear in the Lord looks like... really looks like... I find myself having peace in my relationship with my children. I find I am not always striving to be their perfect "Moooooommm!" (That is how I hear mom in my head)

Father, help me, us as mothers, to go back to the daily task of just living in the here and now. To focus on daily living as mothers.... daily feedings as mothers.
In praying this I was reminded of the Israelites journey through the desert (Exodus 16:4), specifically when and how the Lord provided manna (bread) daily.. enough only for each day. Each day they received their fill... but only for that day. He daily provides. We only need to receive it.

Butternut Squash Lasagna

2010-11-11T12:04:00.000-08:00

Our family loved this recipe! This is now one of our fall favorites! I must warn though- I shared this recipe with a friend of mine and although she loved it, her children were not a big fan. Our children, however, loved this. We ate this for lunch and no one complained! Also, I served this with a candied pecan salad that really brought out the butternut squash flavor! Soooo YummY!

1 large butternut squash

4 tbsp butter

1/4 c all purpose flour

3.5 cups milk

3/4 tsp ground nutmeg

3/4 tsp ground cinnamon plus 1/4 tsp more
1/4 c dried basil or 1/2 c fresh basil2.5 cups shredded mozzarella cheese, divided and 1 package of provolone cheese

1 box (8 oz.)-whole wheat lasagna

1/2cup grated Parmesan cheese

Roast butternut squash @ 375 45-1hr. Scoop squash out of skin.

Puree squash in food processor. Season with salt and pepper. --

Melt butter over medium heat in saucepan. Add flour, whisking for 1 min. Increase heat to high and gradually whisk in milk. Bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 5 min., or until slightly thickened. -- Whisk in nutmeg, cinnamon and basil.

Spread ¾ cup of sauce in bottom of baking dish. Place four lasagna noodles crosswise over the sauce. Spread ½ of the squash puree over the noodles, followed by ½ cup mozzarella cheese. Repeat layering using basil sauce, noodles, squash puree and mozzarella. I used provolone cheese only in the middle layer of the lasagna.

Cover with foil and bake for 350 for 45 minutes- 1 hour. mine took about 50 minutes

1:28 ahem.. am :/

2010-10-28T23:13:00.000-07:00

It is currently 1:28 am AND I am still up. yaaaay. This is why I do not drink double espresso's after 4pm normally. Tomorrow is such a busy day too...... what was I thinking! I was thinking I should update my blog I guess...

Updates... Marcus recently seen a man with one leg and went flying toward the van only to knock himself in the forehead. Off for stitches we went... luckily they were able to glue him back together just fine! He is now almost fully healed and his cut looks amazing.... in a few months we may not even notice it. Home schooling with Marcus is going good. He is so bright. So funny. I appreciate his humor. He is very appreciative of my funny faces.. even when I am attempting to be serious with him.

Kyleana, first let me just say 10 is ... CRAZY. :) She is doing well in school. A lot of adjustments in this fourth grade year. New friends... praying for this little mini me. :) We pray over her day every morning before school... (something we started doing in first grade) it feels like the Lord is honoring those prayers. I see her heart and I am praising Jesus for her desire to know Him and please Him. Going back to my 10 is crazy statement... I cannot believe she is 10! Seems like I was putting pigtails in her hair yesterday and seeing how big I could get the bows to be.... time is passing! :)

Abram is doing well with his sign language. Picking up new words weekly it seems. He signs mom and dad and then says it. For awhile when Dave would walk in from work Abram would run up to the door signing dad to him! It was so sweet to watch! Dave loved it! He signs eat, more, thank you, cracker, cheese, please, milk..... stinky. :) With three boys in our family we have a lot of stinky moments. :/ We are hearing more and more words! "et, mo, tank ew, eese, peese" Abrams colic grows bigger with him! I love it! I fear it.. but I love it.

Me? I am well. Feeling so extremely blessed in my friendships. I feel so much health in them and just... known. I feel known. :) walked with. encouraged.
My mothering... I think I want to rename mother hood to servant hood. To really mother I ... really have to serve. This is what Jesus meant when He said to be first you have to be last. I might mention this to Kent around the mothers day message. :) Did I mention I LOVE being a mommy! and Daves Wifey! :)

Dave... Dave is good. He is gearing up to lead worship for the marriage retreat this weekend. I do not understand why he fusses over his sets so much....I think we could just sing Jesus loves me the whole time.. for each 40 minute set and it would be a powerful thing! :) Just kidding... I love Dave's heart over worship. What it means to him personally and what it means to him to serve the Lord in the leading of it. Its pretty.

Okay... so as you can see so much has happened since I last blogged!!! :) now.. as always I leave you with pictures. enjoy.

Saul vs. Jonathan

2010-09-18T20:28:00.000-07:00

Kyleana and I were having a interesting talk a few nights ago regarding Saul and Jonathan. In 1 Samuel it talks about Saul leading his army out and the oath he had made onto the Lord saying cursed be the man who eats before this war is over. Jonathan, unknowing to his fathers oath eats some honey from a stick. Later, when it comes out Jonathan had eaten he does not go into the why's of eating the honey. He simply says yes I have sinned. His life is spared, but not by his father. The army had spoke up on behalf of Jonathan, saying he has led us into great victory ... spare him!

I felt this was a great devotional for Kyleana and I. With children, sometimes when they make a bad choice they go into the "BUT!!!!" and the "I did not know's!" and of course the "This is not fare!" We now have a saying between us saying do you want a Jonathan heart or a Saul heart? We can then compare the two and this opens a door for us to speak truth to our children and even pray with them. I am so grateful for this story ... for many reasons. (I don't think in Jonathan's life time he would have ever thought he would be used as an example today in 2010!) This story, for our family, was a laying out of Sauls heart vs. Jonathan's heart. He could have made it known... "HEY! I was not around when this oath was made -- I had no way of knowing about it!" But he did not. He choose to see his choice as sin and was willing to accept the full consequences of it.. even if it meant death. We are working on respect in our home and this story.. well it has been our example toward choice making. I am grateful for it! Is it blog worthy... maybe not. To make up for it I will leave you with silly face pictures taken from tonight!!! I know... your excited! Two of them have my head... floating! :)

Luke 11:33

2010-06-14T05:40:00.000-07:00

Devotional for this morning.

In a certain mountain village in Europe several years ago (so the story goes), a nobleman wondered what legacy he would leave his townspeople. At last he decided to build them a church. Nobody saw the complete plans until the church was finished. When the people gathered, they marveled at its beauty. But one noticed an imcompleteness. "Where are the lamps?" He asked. "How will the church be lighted?" The nobleman smiled. Then he gave each family a lamp. "Each time you are here, the area in which you sit will be lighted. But when you are not here, some part of God's house will be dark."

I love this story. It has touched the deepest depths of my heart! Reminds me of Joshua 15:24 But as for me and my household we will serve the Lord!

My prayer is to serve the Lord with all me heart. Loving others unselfishly and unconditionally. Asking the Lord for His garment over me... for it is the only place where my motives and heart are found pure.

Flowers in bloom...

2010-03-02T08:13:00.000-08:00

I seen a picture of a flower the other day. It was still in bloom. I went over its blooming season in my head. At the start if its bloom it was still closed. As it grew it began to open. It was small and white at first and then as began to open it grew bigger and had a soft pink start to appear on it. The pink grew over the flower... it was beautiful. It then hit its time of peak.. its most prominent time of beauty. Soon after, it began to wither. Then the season of passing came to it and its beauty was no more. Only the space where it once was planted remained. I felt like the Lord was showing me this flower... as a resemblance of our own lives as women. We have a time of growth... a time of beauty. I seen each season of my life in this flower. The birth of the flower, its overall growth. A reminder that beauty if fleeting. I have recently discovered I have picked up and believed a very cultural view of beauty. I look in the mirror and take what our culture believes as beautiful and look me over to see if I fit the standard. Part of recognizing this has been freeing and heartbreaking. I stare at myself in the mirror and say I am longing for you Lord... but trying to fit in this cultural beauty at the same time. BUT I want more of you and less of my culture. I am happily turning from the lie I have believed from our culture. Peter 3:3-5 Do not be concerned about the outward beauty that depends of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelery, or beautiful clothes. You should be known from the beauty that come from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. 1 Peter... quiet spirit! me Lord? haha!! mmmmmmm.... a submitting spirit! yes please Lord, and thank you! :) So this is my sharing with you my walk from my cultural view of beauty into my walk of the Lords truth poured out over me.... this is beauty Amber. Physical beauty will fade with age. While we can appreciate looking nice, it is inner beauty that prevails, now and over the long term.

I have been waiting....

2010-02-22T20:19:00.000-08:00

Tonight as I was brushing my teeth I found myself in communication with the Lord. I was saying.. God, I have not talked with you all day. I quietly heard back, "I know, I have been waiting." I then went to bed, Dave and I had our prayer time, and after I was still rambling on to God. I went through my day with Marcus. "Lord" I said, "I did not know how difficult parenting would be." It seems like when I talk to Marcus, he does not listen. When I give him our rules.. he does not obey. I have to lay them out to him over and over again.. constantly reminding him. When he ask for help, I give it AND then he gets mad over the way I help him... then.. it hit me.. the reality of me that is. GOD! This is me with YOU! I am a really bad child! So often I ask the Lord to take my reigns only to question my life steps...!! Lord you lead me...but wait? what am I doing here??
Please Lord forgive me for my insanity... for my lack of trust and even questioning you and your will over me. Dave and I went to a leaders retreat awhile back and while we were there I heard the Lord ask me why I distrusted his will over my life. So I have been asking God... why do I not trust your will over me? Tonight it made sense to me. I have not fully trusted his love over me. I know He loves me.. but I have not trusted how faithful His love is over me. Just like when a child tries to win their parents love or affection over them, this is how I have been with the Lord. I see Marcus... and I love him. I love him not only because he is mine but I love him because I see him. I see his little heart... how beautiful it is. He just needs molding. That is why I am so faithful in my discipline with him. I love him. I want what is best for him... discipline helps him to grow. Once he grows his little heart just shines brighter. I am calling it a night just wanting God to discipline me more... because I know His love over me is bigger and more pure then I could ever imagine. I was reading over a posting in my bathroom mirror. It was a note I had written down regarding the Israelites journey through the desert. (it was a study I had done) If they would have just trusted Gods provision over them their discouragement would have turned to encouragement. If they would have just stopped questioning the Lords hand over them, His will over them and seen and accepted His hand for what it was and the faithfulness He had shown to them... they would have been encouraged. I am praying that the Lord would let me learn from their journey. That I would be encouraged by every life circumstance instead of the discouragement, because He is faithful and He is good. He desires good over us. I do not know my future or my own heart as well as He does. I am yawning tonight... wanting to just surrender it to Him.. not picking it back up. Lord I need your discipline. I need your grace. I want to be this mother and wife you have called me to. It is my greatest investment. Will you mold me as I mold these little ones. Will you love me as I love Dave. I am feeling a bit like the "bad child" tonight but fully aware that the Lord loves me. :) He will grow me through my selfishness... because He knows my heart wants no other God. Only Him. Only you Lord.

Steak, Pear and Gorgonzola Sandwhiches

2010-02-18T11:56:00.003-08:00

I received this recipe from Cooking Light and altered it to best fit my family. We are huge fans of gorgonzola cheese but found it to be a bit overpowering for this meal. I recently used feta in place of the gorgonzola and LOVED the way it tasted. Cooking Light calls for this to be a open faced sandwhich but with little ones I found that to be a little difficult. Okay, with me I found that to be a little difficult! Instead I made this into a wrap and the grilled it to make a seal so nothing came out as it reached my mouth. It worked! :) For sides, I would recommend hummus with raw veggies, sweet potato fries or just steamed veggies and just forget the hummus!

2 lbs flank steak, trimmed
1/2 tspn. kosher salt
1/2 tspn. freshly ground pepper
1 cup thinly sliced red onions
2 Bartlett pears, or whatever you like
3 tbsp fresh lemon juice
2 tbsp. white wine vinegar
1 tbsp. water
1 tspn. olive oil
1 tspn. minced garlic
6 cups of gourmet salad green or spinach. you can mix the two if you like
1/2 c crumbled gorgonzola, feta or blue cheese. Feta has been my personal fav.
6 Mediterranean flatbread

Preparation

Coat large cast iron skillet with cooking spray. Heat over med-high heat. Sprinkle both sides of steak with salt and pepper. Add steak to pan; cook 6 minutes. Turn steak; add onion to pan. Cook steak an additional 6 minutes or until desired degree of doneness, stirring onion frequently. Transfer steak to a cutting board. Cook onion for an additional 2 minutes or until tender and lightly browned. Remove pan from heat. Core pears; cut into thin slices. Place pears in a large bowl. Drizzle pears with 2 tablespoons lemon juice; toss well to coat. Combine remaining 1 tablespoon lemon juice, vinegar, water, olive oil, and garlic in a small bowl; stir well with a whisk. Add salad greens or spinach and cheese to pear mixture. Drizzle with oil mixture; toss to coat. Cut steak diagonally into thin slices. Top each flatbread with about 7 slicessteak and about 1 1/3 cups salad mixture. Fold flatbread ends over and roll to make a wrap. Uses a Foreman or panini grill .. grill these about 4 minutes or until the shade the firmness you want them. Enjoy! We did! :)

"gRils night"

2010-01-29T19:36:00.000-08:00

Last night some of Kyleana's friends stayed over. It was so much fun! Getting them ready for school the next day brought back so many memories of our mornings at the Ervins! My childhood friends. Getting ready at their house was so much fun... and very chaotic. We had Angela... who had to be perfect every morning.. and she literally was! Every hair (including eyelashes) in place. Anna... who also had a bit of Ang in her! Alyssa and myself who were always so last minute... it was just so chaotic ... and I loved every minute of it! I giggled a few time as I watched the girls get ready this morning. I could see a little of Ang and Anna in the hair brushing. As Morgan laid on the couch instead of actually getting ready I then seen a little bit of Alyssa and myself! .. hehe!! :) I thought man.... Cathy had much more patience then I was ever aware of. :) I was also just watching Kyleana. She is getting so big. We as parents have such a small amount of time to actually help mold and shape these children while they are in our home..... :( She is becoming a young lady. A beautiful, bright, funny, kind, compassionate, giving, understanding lady. My prayer over her is that she would have a soft pliable pure heart... and that she wold love the Lord with all her heart. I remember sitting with her talking to her about having a step father and what that would look like. One of the things we had told her was that we were fully aware she had a father who loves her. Dave would love her and have a heart over her like a father. It was her choice what to call him. (she calls him dad) but I remember telling her Kyleana technically your not even mine. God has given you to me to raise for Him. You are his. This made so much sense to her. She just grasped hold to that and it clicked. I remember her saying to me, "so God puts parents in our lives to help raise and teach us?"She was able to grasp this was for her benefit. The molding process over her was FOR her. I was so proud of her little mind. That she was able to grasp that truth and apply it to her life. The older she gets the more I want to work on me.. just to be a good example to her. I want her to know behavior by me living it out in front of her. Mothers can hugely impact their daughters lives. I want that to be a beautiful impact... I am sure it will be flawed... but this is something I so badly want to invest into concerning Kyleana. The boys..... oh those boys! Marcus my wild strength filled boy and Abram my quiet entertaining loving sweet baby! I am blessed beyond measure with my kidlets. A life applying my all to them is a life well lived. Of course and Dave, AND friends, family, "others".... . :) Simple blessing all around us everyday... its just if we choose to really see them. From Jesus' faithfulness, to family and friends, to the warmth of the sun or the breeze of the air.... life is good if you choose for it to be so. Out of my own personal suffering I can also recall my most intimate time with my Father... a time he held my hand all the way through it all. Suffering was hard and painful... but the healing was powerful and life transforming. I would not skip the suffering for anything. It is partially what has led my heart here.... laid down. Surrendering to serving.... and doing it joyfully. :) Thanks Lord. My friend. My strength. My potter. Grateful for his mercy... wanting to drink his truth and the freedom it brings like water! I will stop here with pictures of Kyleana and her "grils night" as Marcus calls it! :)

Encouragement to really invest into other peoples lives. I am so grateful for the women who took time to invest into mine! :)

2010-01-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth.. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big 'F' at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file , she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... He is a joy to be around..'

His second grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.'

His third grade teacher wrote, 'His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken.'

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class.'

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, 'Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.'

After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her 'teacher's pets..'

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life...

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came... This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, 'Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.'

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whisper ed back. She said, 'Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you.'

(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Doctor at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.) Every person we encounter could be a relationship in the making. We were giving hands to reach out and invest into others... lets use them.

Our Anniversary! :)

2009-11-27T22:05:00.000-08:00

I am not sure how I feel about blogging. I have not journaled in years. Blogging is kind of like that... the place you go to share your inner most thoughts! OR maybe just baking recipes... a place to go to share your baking recipes. :) I will do this very soon! As I do love to bake!

Dave and I recently celebrated our SECOND year anniversary! Wow! We are still at a place where we are growing in our family. I never imagined having a "step father family".. or that when it did happen it would be the first family that actually was/is "family." I am grateful for the Lords hand upon us... always constant, always molding. :) It's a great thing to know.... that He is always with us, always in control. AND he knew I was going to like baking.... !! WHAT what! There is this "it is good" feeling I get when I feed my husband and children and I know they just devoured a totally healthy meal! I lay in bed feeling pleased. Wow Jesus... this has to be you molding me! Thank you......

So two years down (I jumped back to the anniversary) and Lord willing 60 more to go! It is so amazing.... who knew that the man who walked me through my prayer of salvation at age 17 would also be the man who would walk with me through the journey! Thank you Dave for the start of traveling this journey with me... and walking hand in hand with me every step of the way :)

Rollerblading Mishap

2009-09-17T12:40:00.000-07:00

Today Abram and myself went ouside to rollerblade. It was beautiful out. Perfect fall weather. We get about four miles away from home and the beauty soon ends... going down a big hill I notice the car behind me sounds a bit close. As I try to slow down ( I am already mostly in the grass at this point) It is even closer... and I crash! Abram is in his jogging stroller and I struggle to keep him up and I just tumble... down and around I go! :) My mind was focusing on - push stroller away and keep it up! Don't pull on it to stop from falling.. you'll tip it! I got up and went to Abram and he just looked at me like what? why did we stop.. kicking his feet.. come on lets get going! I am happy to say Abram was 100% unharmed. I, on the other hand, was throbbing in my outer thigh and hip. The girl in the car felt horrible and offered us a ride home.... but as soon as I knew Abram was ok I just wanted her to leave so I could pout a little bit to myself. It hurt! I can usually handle pain well but I think it was the shock of it. At the same time I found so much humor in how retarded my fall must have looked! Again, I was also in shock that it even happened. HELLER! Who does this stuff happen to other then me? Ridiculous! Abram was okay though.. so this is where my mind felt a big sense of just... ahhhh! relief! I felt like well we're okay.. no biggy! Could have been much worse! Then I got up and relaized I had four miles to get home! Crap! Dang it! Crraaap! Off I started.. then the tears came... tears of just feeling a bit overwhelmed. I was like why did I come this far!! Why down this bumpy road... I think I even began to talk to the road outload! I told it I thought it sucked and needed redone! It didn't respond to my emotional abuse! :) I got home and put peroxide on all my little cuts.... and again pouted because it hurt and then I thought man I didn't even really get my workout in.. I even debated trying to do my squats.. I decided squats were just going to have to wait! My leg was to sore! So this was what I want to call the ending to my rollerblading for the next few weeks! :) My cuts will heal! Others I am sure have experienced little incidents similiar to mine and were not so lucky! I am grateful both Abram and myself are okay!